I am the WINGMAN!

An innocent night of meeting up with some pals after work turned into a strange night that went till 4am!!

I caught up with some buddies around 11pm at a bar in Santa Monica. After a while of hanging out and relaxing, a group of girls came by us and one of them passed out a business card to us. We each looked at each other and said, "The fuck is this?" Two of the girls stayed and hung out with my friend and I, but my other friend disappeared for a while. I think he had some other friends in another part of the bar. Anyhow, both of these girls seemed to be super sexual. They kept grabbing each other's tits and ass.....right there! One of them had a scarf that was tucked in her cleavage and pulled it out to have us smell it. (It smelt REALLY good, btw)

These girls even bought US drinks. We weren't even trying. I was the wingman in this scenerio, since I am officially off the market, so I was helping things progress. At one point, one of the girls was leaning across us, with her ass in our face, and her friend "gave us permission" to grab it and smack it. I told my friend to because there was no way I was going to.....so he did. Good times! Oh yeah, the girl giving "permission wrote her number on my friend's arm....TWICE!

Well, the bar closed and they asked what we were doing now. Our other friend showed up again and told us to go to his place up the street. We went over there, but this was the low point of the evening. It was a little weird because we were hanging out in his place, just sitting on the floor, not really doing anything. Kinda boring, actually. Eventually, my buddy and I left with the two girls, so we could drop them off.

As we are pulling up to their place, they are saying that they want to hang out more, drink some wine and stuff. I looked at my friend and said, "Your call, man." He said to the girls, "Sorry, but I think this is where we part ways." They said, "Well THAT'S gay!" Haha...he got capped! The girl who wrote her number on my friend's arm then said, "I usually give blowjobs for a ride home." WTF!!???? I am sure she was kidding, but that was weird to hear her actually say that!

We gave them hugs and told them to have a good night. Of course, being a wingman now, I couldn't just leave it at that, so I told the other girl to write her number on my friend's other arm. So she did. They told us to visit them at their job sometime (don't think that'll happen).

Well, there you have it. My friend is fairly mild-mannered, so having strange girls write their numbers on his body was pretty fucking funny to see!!!

I guess the question to ask the female readers is:

Did my friend have a shot or not, if he would have continued hanging out that night?

I personally think he did, but he says nay. Oh, I forgot to mention this is my friend who gave me the REVELATION about dating that I wrote about in one of my first posts. When I asked him why he didn't, he said that he didn't want to put me in a position that might end up with me doing something I'd regret. Although I do appreciate that, I am quite capable of resisting temptation. To quote the great movie The Wedding Singer: "I just want someone to play with your ding-dong!"

BITCHES!

So, I was at a local bar with a friend of mine tonight. Some of you may know that the Grammy Awards were televised tonight and this bar had the televisions set to the Grammys. Anyhow, there were two girls sitting close to us and I noticed that, as in any bar, the language is not for the faint of heart. The reason I brought up the Grammys is because at one point in the show, they bring up the "children" of Michael Jackson. The bartender said that there was a sperm donor for those kids and I added, "Yeah, you know Michael didn't fuck the mom!" Well, the two BITCHES got all uptight and said, "Watch your language!" My friend retorted, "We're in a bar!!" and they fired back, "Have respect in public!"

What a load of horse shit! Just ten minutes before, these girls were using all kinds of language, but the second we say something bad about MJ, they fly off the fucking handle. I couldn't help myself, but as they were leaving I very loudly said, "Is it ok to say FUCK now that they're leaving?" I said it a couple of times to make sure they heard it.

LAME!!!

The List

Way back in June, a friend told me about an elderly couple he knows. I am fuzzy on the details, but I believe they met later in life. They are very happy with each other and gave the following jewel to my friend:

Make a list of the your ideal person. Be as selfish and shallow as you want because this IS your ideal mate. This list will help focus your thoughts on what is important and what might not be important in your quest for the "one".

After my friend told me this, I decided to make my own list. Fast-forward to October and then it all came together for me. I don't think it was any kind of a voodoo thing, but it definitely helped me look for the hints of the items on MY list.

Just some food for thought.

PS: I'm sorry I haven't been writing much here, but there isn't much to write about. It seems that most of my friends have girlfriends right now (although there is one friend in particular, you know who you are, that I am dying to write stories about, but he hasn't had any adventures to tell!)

Merry Christmas!

Four Hours?!

From another friend:

"I was at my local bar, having drinks by myself, when a cute 40-something sat down next to me. I didn't say anything to her partly because I was just out relaxing, but also because random guys were coming up and trying to pick up on her. So as I was leaving, she asked if I had an extra cigarette she could have. We starting talking outside while smoking and then we made it over to her place. (didn't get the details on how exactly that happened) She said she didn't want to get physical, so I said that was cool and asked for a beer. After we both had only ONE beer, she was all over me. She was down for anything!! And I was "UP" for anything. Seriously, four fucking hours!!!! And I'm no spring chicken. (He's mid-thirties) Every time there was a break, it would just stay up!"

I just heard this story last night and I thought it was pretty impressive. He knew he didn't want to see her ever again, so I guess he didn't ask for a number or anything.

As a side note: I told him my current situation and he said he's jealous. Hehehe

2 in 1

This story comes from a good friend:

"I was at a local dive bar, just hanging out with some friends. I was sitting at the bar next to this girl who was cute, but extremely wasted. We didn't even say a word to each other and all of a sudden she starts kissing me!!! She was into it, BIG TIME! I thought to myself, 'This is too easy.' I also felt a little dirty that this girl was completely under the influence, so I stopped. The funny thing is I started talking to a different girl in the bar that same night. This girl was also attractive and fun, so I got her digits and went out within the next few days. We banged and then she got all psycho. She wouldn't stop calling, even after I told her that I didn't want to be involved with her anymore. I stopped answering her calls (which persisted for some time) until she stopped calling."

I like this story because it goes to show that when it rains, it pours. Too bad she went all nuts. More and more I am seeing that bars are not where you want to meet people to have a nice relationship with. They're good for a little fun though.

Quasi-Threesome

This story comes from a friend of mine who has been out on the town with me several times in the past.

"I was at a bar with a buddy of mine and he started talking to a girl who was sitting alone. I just was hanging back and relaxing because I was pretty tired. He gets things rolling, but she seems to be more into me, even though I'm not really contributing anything.

She invited both of us to go back to her place to hang out, which I didn't really think much of. One thing led to another and the three of us are in her bedroom and she's blowing me! I look over at my buddy and he's going down on her!!! Not even I would go down on a girl I just me in a bar! Anyhow, she finished me off and then I left the room. I found out later that my buddy couldn't get it up because he did a line of coke earlier!! WTF?! She also told him that she was more into me! Ouch!"

I remember many months ago when my friend told me this story. I couldn't believe it, but after some of my own exploits, nothing is too crazy. I personally would not get myself into a possible 1 girl + 2 guy threesome. I know it didn't fully manifest, but still. If my cock is out and another dude is in the room.......NO THANKS! I don't care how horny I am.

Patience

Sorry about the lack of updates everybody. Since I've decided not to talk about what's happening with my current situation (which is going fine, by the way), there hasn't been much to write about.

However, I have been speaking to a few of my single buddies, gathering stories and information to share with all of you. So, please be patient while I harvest some good entertainment for you.