The Former Co-Worker

I just got off the phone with the former co-worker I have been going out with this past month. Unfortunately, I had to end it. You may recall that I was saying how we have fun together and get along great, but the spark just isn't there for me. So I called her and explained the situation. She was a bit sad, but understood. She also was glad that I told her now without dragging it out.

I have to admit, I feel pretty bad about it. I really had a good time with her. I kept giving it chances, but I found myself not even thinking about her when we weren't together. In fact, the most I have thought about her was these last 2 days, while I was thinking of how I would tell her all of this. That is a sure sign that I am just not feelin' it.

Oh well, onward and upward.

She has been mentioned in a few of these posts, but it has run its course. Interestingly, this is one of two girls in the last 6 months where I was the one ending things. Most of the girls just disappear or "drop-off".

Sigh....thus ends the tale of the former co-worker.

Games

I was out last night with my friend and we were hanging out in a pretty good beer/wine bar. After we were there for a while, I noticed that there was a group of three girls standing right by us. Now these girls seemed fun and they were attractive, but here is where their attitudes made them NOT fun and NOT attractive.

A fairly good-looking guy was sitting by them and they were totally flirting with him. The usual stuff girls do to flirt is touching, giggling, leaning in close....whatever. But here is the kicker: the guy was there with a date who seemed weirded out by these girls flirting with her man!

So, here is what I concluded from the situation. These girls, although nothing special, felt the need to flirt with this girl's man just to show they can take attention away from her and put it on themselves. Attention is the life-force for females. They need it to survive. They will do anything to get it and will always want more. This trio of girls actually made me think less of them for what they were doing. It was really disgusting. The guy was some jock-looking guy who probably didn't have much behind the eyeballs, so he was clueless while his girl was getting pissed.

One little nugget that involved me was when she got up to use the restroom, I asked her why those girls are all over her dude. She pressed up against me, grabbed my ass and said, "That just means I can rub up on who I want." Then she gave me a high-five and off she went. Hmmm, strange, strange stuff. At least I had a hot girl "molest" me.

As a side note, there was another little thing that occurred that is worth mentioning here.

One of the three girls seemed less high-maintenance and fairly approachable, so I asked her a random question and she seemed open to talk to us. However, while my friend and I were talking to her, I began to notice that she kept scooting back half a step every so often. I kept having to lean forward to hear what she was saying before I realized what she was doing. The funny thing was that we weren't being creeps or anything like that, we were just talking. I don't know if she had some weird incidents with guys in the past, but she should have felt relieved that two good-looking, smart and non-threatening dudes were just shooting the shit with her. Oh well. It made me wonder if it was because we don't have the jock-look like the dude they were hitting on did.

No matter, onward.

Come one, come all!

At the request of a friend, I have enabled anonymous comment posting. Sorry it took so long, but I am a little new to this blogging stuff. So don't feel the need to hide anymore. Let's hear those comments!!!!!!!

Confusion

I have noticed, in my nightly "hunts", that there are a large amount of girls who go out with their girlfriends and get all glammed up, but want nothing to do with anyone who tries to start a decent conversation with them!!

I am very confused by this. As you know, I live in a new area now and what I have been able to discern from the few weeks that I have lived is this:


There are more BITCHES here than where I used to live!!!!!


Now, I mean that in the most non-demeaning way I can. The fact is that most of the girls I have encountered the last few weeks have been very short, venomous (yes, venomous!!!) and standoffish. Why would a girl get all done up and go out to a place where PEOPLE MEET if she wants nothing to do with anyone who will inevitably try to talk to her. I understand the whole "I'm hanging with my friends....girls night out" stuff, BUT COME ON!!!

I have run into this where I used to live, but it seemed to happen less.

My only conclusion on the matter is that I KNEW the spots that were more chill in my previous locale. I just need to find places like that here. I'm just tapping the wrong resources right now. No matter, tomorrow's a new day.

Funny because it's true

One of my favorite shows of all time is SEINFELD. Here is a funny clip that resonates pretty well with me.

Enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ysw3QZIBzMo&feature=related

One at a time?!

A few of my friends (guys) have pointed out to me that the way I am dating is NOT the norm. I have to agree. Usually, a person would date one person at a time until things run their course, then move on. Although I have nothing against this "normal" type of dating, there seems to be pros and cons for both dating techniques.

Dating one person at a time:

Pros:
1) Only one person in your life (intimacy)
2) A feeling of "being centered"
3) Focus of intent and outcome

Cons:
1) Only one person in your life. (yes, this could be considered a CON)
2) Might become serious sooner than you may want.
3) No backup plan
4) Attachment


Dating multiple people:

Pros:
1) Options on who to see and when
2) Less attachment if things don't work out
3) Variety

Cons:
1) Lack of intimacy ("just body parts rubbing together")
2) Unending feeling of urgency (I need more numbers)


Well, that is my point of view on it. I know that the multiple dating thing is not for everyone, but it serves its purpose until that "ONE" comes along. As stated in the last post, I'm only seeing one person at the moment. Unfortunately, I don't see it going anywhere serious. We have fun together, but that's about it. I'm going to have "the talk" with her about my thoughts on us dating because I think she is more into it than I am. I'll let you know how that goes.

Slump

As you may have guessed by the lack of entries, there is a bit of a slump happening. I'm only going out with one girl at the moment, but it seems that I haven't been able to close the number deal with the girls I talk to when I'm out. It hasn't really gotten to the point where I feel they're interested enough to warrant asking for their number. I've been able to do conversations, for the most part (some girls are just bitches), but I don't feel a reciprocation of interest on their part. To be honest, my mind has been elsewhere. I've been busy with the new place and also with trying to get some professional stuff moving ahead.

So, it is just a short period to get through. I also feel a little awkward when I go out solo still...out of my element without the wingman. Oh well. Things'll pick up; not just with the women, but with every other aspect of life for me.......I hope.

First times

Well, the other night I slept with a new girl I'm seeing. And I have to say that in the past, the "first time" with someone always seemed scary and nerve-racking. However, I now find it fun and not awkward, as some people may feel.

This girl is a former co-worker of mine. We recently hung out and decided that we have fun together, so let's go out and hang sometime. We had a couple of low-stress dates that were quite relaxing. When it came time to do "the deed", I felt very comfortable and took my time with every little thing. This doesn't mean that I used to rush everything (I am a huge proponent of foreplay!!). Though, it does seem, sometimes, that the first time is just straight to the main attraction. I hate that!!!!

Anyhow, we both enjoyed each other and had a great time!!

Annoyances!

Being out to a few different types of places can sometimes open your eyes to those little things that annoy the FUCK out of you!!!

I am annoyed by the girls who go out with their friends and are bitchy to anyone who just says hi or asks them a question. For example, I was out one night, sitting at a bar, when a girl came up and ordered a drink with Red Bull or some shit in it. I ask her, "What drink has Red Bull in it?" and she gave a very short "It has vodka too" response. Fine, no sweat off my balls, but why be out at a place that has tons of people in it, when you are going to be all cunty to any "stranger" who says something to you. That is only one annoyance.

Another is the idiot college guys who are too loud and dopey. Case in point: Another time I was out, this douchebag, who reminded me of Spiccoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High, was all loud and bumbling around like a fool. IDIOT!!!

One last one is the girls who act all shy when you talk to her. My friend and I met this group of girls in a bar, we danced a little, and then when I started talking to the one that I was into, she acts all shy and shit!!! What a shitload of fuck!!! Is this not the same girl who we were dancing with five minutes ago???!!!

THese annoyance are out of my control and I have learned to just roll with them, but they still suck when I come across them. These will always be present, but don't let them distract you.

Hit & Miss

I wish I could tell you that every time I go out on the town, I get a number. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Take last night for example. I am living in a new area now and I am feeling a little out of my element. Not really, but things are different enough to cause a slight disruption. That coupled with the fact that I don't have a wingman to go out with. Enough with excuses already!!

Okay, so I go out last night and just walked in and out of a few bars along a strip until I found one to my liking. I parked myself at the bar, ordered a drink and enjoyed the atmosphere. (by the way, I was flying solo) The good thing about sitting at the bar is that everyone who wants a drink has to go to the bar to get it, so all kinds of people will be next to you at one time or another. Nothing came of it though. I had a few nice interactions, but everyone seemed to be there for other reasons like birthdays, going-away parties, etc. This is a tough thing when you're out looking to meet someone because even if you are, they aren't. However, everyone is friendly and enjoyed the chit-chat that resulted, but I could tell that there was no interest on their part. No problem, it happens.

The important thing is to practice starting a conversation with strangers, men and women. This will get you into a simple routine of saying hi and going with the flow. Some people aren't receptive, but the majority are. When it comes down to it, everyone just wants to have a good time (unless they are assholes).

So, my first night out in a new city was fun, but only warranted some good practice. Let's see what the tide brings in next.

First Dates

First dates can be nerve racking for both men and women, but it doesn't have to be. When I started this new dating lifestyle, I was so caught up with what I should do on a first date that it became a distraction from the girl I would be going out with. So, here are some successes that I have had with my first dates:

1) Go down to the beach at night and walk around a little, maybe have a drink or two, and walk on the sand. I have done this a few times and it is a nice relaxed date with plenty of conversation.

2) Go to an event like a ballgame or street fair. This would depend if the girl is into that specific sport, but the street fair is pretty easy to do as well. There are a lot of activities going on just in case conversation might be awkward. By the way, if things are awkward, it probably won't move past that first date anyway.

3) If she is really comfortable, have a nice night in. Wine with some dessert or snacks and a movie at home can also be a good one too.

These are three examples of successful first dates that I have had recently. There is one thing to note here. My friends ask me how I don't blow a lot of money with all of the dating I do. Well, it's simple. With the exception of the ballgame, things can be very affordable. Now I am no cheapskate, but my philosophy is that you don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time. In fact, spending too much will seem like you're trying too hard.

Anytime, Anywhere

A lot of my friends ask how I meet the girls I date. Well, there is no one answer to that question. It can happen anytime, anywhere. Here are a few examples:

1) Walking on the street one day, a girl asked me if I knew where a certain shop was. I didn't know, so I looked it up on my phone while asking her questions about herself. I offered to walk her to the shop, she agreed. After more conversation, I got her number and that was that. By the way, that was a first for me and I was proud of myself!!

2) I was playing a game in a bar with my friend. We noticed some cute girls that were by themselves and asked if they wanted to join. They came over and after a while of fun conversation, I got the number of the one I was vibing more with. This tactic works well. About 100% of girls who've played a game with me in a bar have given me their number.

3) A restaurant hostess is a pretty tough shell to crack. In fact, any girl "on the job" is tough to tell if they like you or are working for tips. I took my chances on this one. I asked her about one of her accessories when I was about to be seated. This ice-breaker opened the door for some playful flirting every time she would walk by my table. So, on my way out of the restaurant, I spoke to her a little more and got her number. I have tried doing this with waitresses, but they pull the "Can I have your number instead?" trick....sometimes the "I have a boyfriend" one is popular too.

So, those are three examples of how I have done it. There are other possibilities too, like coffee shops, book stores, etc. The trick is to be yourself and don't have an agenda. Just talk, see if she is interested or not within the 30-60 second mark, and then ask for her number. You miss every shot you don't take.