I am the WINGMAN!

An innocent night of meeting up with some pals after work turned into a strange night that went till 4am!!

I caught up with some buddies around 11pm at a bar in Santa Monica. After a while of hanging out and relaxing, a group of girls came by us and one of them passed out a business card to us. We each looked at each other and said, "The fuck is this?" Two of the girls stayed and hung out with my friend and I, but my other friend disappeared for a while. I think he had some other friends in another part of the bar. Anyhow, both of these girls seemed to be super sexual. They kept grabbing each other's tits and ass.....right there! One of them had a scarf that was tucked in her cleavage and pulled it out to have us smell it. (It smelt REALLY good, btw)

These girls even bought US drinks. We weren't even trying. I was the wingman in this scenerio, since I am officially off the market, so I was helping things progress. At one point, one of the girls was leaning across us, with her ass in our face, and her friend "gave us permission" to grab it and smack it. I told my friend to because there was no way I was going to.....so he did. Good times! Oh yeah, the girl giving "permission wrote her number on my friend's arm....TWICE!

Well, the bar closed and they asked what we were doing now. Our other friend showed up again and told us to go to his place up the street. We went over there, but this was the low point of the evening. It was a little weird because we were hanging out in his place, just sitting on the floor, not really doing anything. Kinda boring, actually. Eventually, my buddy and I left with the two girls, so we could drop them off.

As we are pulling up to their place, they are saying that they want to hang out more, drink some wine and stuff. I looked at my friend and said, "Your call, man." He said to the girls, "Sorry, but I think this is where we part ways." They said, "Well THAT'S gay!" Haha...he got capped! The girl who wrote her number on my friend's arm then said, "I usually give blowjobs for a ride home." WTF!!???? I am sure she was kidding, but that was weird to hear her actually say that!

We gave them hugs and told them to have a good night. Of course, being a wingman now, I couldn't just leave it at that, so I told the other girl to write her number on my friend's other arm. So she did. They told us to visit them at their job sometime (don't think that'll happen).

Well, there you have it. My friend is fairly mild-mannered, so having strange girls write their numbers on his body was pretty fucking funny to see!!!

I guess the question to ask the female readers is:

Did my friend have a shot or not, if he would have continued hanging out that night?

I personally think he did, but he says nay. Oh, I forgot to mention this is my friend who gave me the REVELATION about dating that I wrote about in one of my first posts. When I asked him why he didn't, he said that he didn't want to put me in a position that might end up with me doing something I'd regret. Although I do appreciate that, I am quite capable of resisting temptation. To quote the great movie The Wedding Singer: "I just want someone to play with your ding-dong!"

BITCHES!

So, I was at a local bar with a friend of mine tonight. Some of you may know that the Grammy Awards were televised tonight and this bar had the televisions set to the Grammys. Anyhow, there were two girls sitting close to us and I noticed that, as in any bar, the language is not for the faint of heart. The reason I brought up the Grammys is because at one point in the show, they bring up the "children" of Michael Jackson. The bartender said that there was a sperm donor for those kids and I added, "Yeah, you know Michael didn't fuck the mom!" Well, the two BITCHES got all uptight and said, "Watch your language!" My friend retorted, "We're in a bar!!" and they fired back, "Have respect in public!"

What a load of horse shit! Just ten minutes before, these girls were using all kinds of language, but the second we say something bad about MJ, they fly off the fucking handle. I couldn't help myself, but as they were leaving I very loudly said, "Is it ok to say FUCK now that they're leaving?" I said it a couple of times to make sure they heard it.

LAME!!!