I wish I could tell you that every time I go out on the town, I get a number. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Take last night for example. I am living in a new area now and I am feeling a little out of my element. Not really, but things are different enough to cause a slight disruption. That coupled with the fact that I don't have a wingman to go out with. Enough with excuses already!!
Okay, so I go out last night and just walked in and out of a few bars along a strip until I found one to my liking. I parked myself at the bar, ordered a drink and enjoyed the atmosphere. (by the way, I was flying solo) The good thing about sitting at the bar is that everyone who wants a drink has to go to the bar to get it, so all kinds of people will be next to you at one time or another. Nothing came of it though. I had a few nice interactions, but everyone seemed to be there for other reasons like birthdays, going-away parties, etc. This is a tough thing when you're out looking to meet someone because even if you are, they aren't. However, everyone is friendly and enjoyed the chit-chat that resulted, but I could tell that there was no interest on their part. No problem, it happens.
The important thing is to practice starting a conversation with strangers, men and women. This will get you into a simple routine of saying hi and going with the flow. Some people aren't receptive, but the majority are. When it comes down to it, everyone just wants to have a good time (unless they are assholes).
So, my first night out in a new city was fun, but only warranted some good practice. Let's see what the tide brings in next.
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I think this is different for men and women. I moved here 2 years ago and I still don't have a life, nor do I feel comfortable to just walk into a bar alone. Partly because I'm a chick, and...partly because I'm a chick. Meaning, I don't feel safe going out at night alone (because I'm a chick), and also...going back to previous mentions: For one it looks more pathetic when a woman is sitting alone. Not sexy or mysterious, just..pathetic. I'm not up for that. On top of that, I don't want to say hi to strange men because I'm not up for initiating conversation. Perhaps it's a trust issue. I honestly don't think any man is in there with a decent intention and I'm just not willing to shove myself into that position.
ReplyDeleteIf I were out with a group of girls, and was actually approached, that might be different. I'm envious of you men who just can stroll along and find a spot and manage to look like you've been a regular all along.